a mARTIAN dIARY

the plastic life

of pleasure and pain
that one can’t feel

of a constant high
weaved with melancholy

of an armour too thick
for the tears of love

they claim as cost
of a Faustian pact

I see no riches
But it does feel
Like something sold

(Written on a movie and a book)

We, by virtue of our strength (and weakness) in numbers , are a country that needs to focus more on queuing theory. The fact that our vast numbers and a matched dearth in capacity to service these numbers, still has not permeated an expected level of obsession with queues is itself a comment on our culture and our concepts of fairness and self respect (or lack thereof).

In paranoidland It may be safe to assume that for us to actually become a super power , which seems to be the obsession and motive behind a lot of radical cries in the media today , we will have to cultivate a better queuing culture. The dichotomy of a guy who will push aside a septuagenarian to get into a running bus but who will without question queue up in front of a liquor shop is something that must be reconciled for any super power ambitions as it is also the social aspect that will make or break countries in this era.  But I digress

But even within this unfair asylum following a dictionary sans the word “queue”  there are areas where the sanity of queues prevail. From the liquor shop that we visited earlier to a school or college where people get queued for anything and everything. The subtle  hint of authority that can reprimand is probably the pill that creates this sanity but never-the-less sanity it is.

But having established the basic need for queue sanity in these places, there is a obvious question of ordinance to decide the order and here is where we find another human folly. A lot of situations present themselves with a natural order of things that we can easily translate to the law to be used for ordering. Let’s call this “natural fairness”. But then there are other areas where nature abandons us  and leaves us on our own. Imagine a roll call for a viva, or anything related to ordering in a class room of students.  Where is the unfairness you ask?

Imagine two scenarios

People are ordered on the basis of their roll number which is decided on the alphabetic ordering of our names

People are randomly ordered by a pure random selection

Which seems more “fair”. The first right? I have seldom seen fist-fights being broken down or many a agitated minds being calmed down when it is told “…the lists shall proceed alphabetically…”. With the A’s most cheerful (or dreadful as is the case) and the Z’s sharing their counterpart’s anti-emotions. The result ? Conditioned fairness.

While alphabetic order seems like a good order to get back order (I always wanted to say that ) , its only as much arbitrary and more unfair than a pure random selection. The letter that one’s name starts with, be it the product of painstaking research of one’s parents thru peer reviewed classical academic treatise like “1000 Hindu names for your baby” or “Names for Games” , or be the product of a eureka moment of the father (even mother) after 3 pints of beer , is still , surprisingly , arbitrary.

And it’s more unfair than pure repeated randomness because the unfairness has be institutionalized. For once the guy/gal is named there are no more random events controlling his fate at least in this respect  (for the vast majority of course, judging by the scant number of name change advt’s in newspapers).  On top of that the poor “Zuhaib” or “Ankur” has been conditioned to believe that this is fair while the “Manoj’s” of the world go around scott-free cushioned on both sides.

So my final world? Make India a superpower. Invest more in queuing theory research

I am a dream. No illusions but for the one of the whole world. No moral lines. No accountability. Nothing no more a lie, for what is a lie in a lie. And the world blurs, for the many faces that I live with, none exist and everything exists at the same time. The bright colours, sky blue, magenta, pitch black they disperse and copulate with each other creating an existence of one that is not singular but plural.

The worries that I have seem so distant like the lingering sadness or fear that stays with you after a dark dream night. One that infuriates you and kills your sanity for it seems to stalk you without you ever finding out and yet you are vaguely aware of a foreign presence. And then there are  ones that I have conjured up in this lie, which seem so near. The guilt of a sin never committed but as real as truth in the lie. The joy of a happiness never bestowed.

And then someone wakes.  And I die.

(Something that I left half finished loong back…finished it and posting at the original date! )

Finally sitting down to write about the Delhi haat experiences! Though I would like people to belive that it’s because I am doing an MBA and have no time, the sad truth is that I have been lazy. In the meantime, I was handling the same stall at American center for 2 days in connection with the monsoon festival too.
There are multiple aspects to the experience that I have had at these stalls. For example there are awareness, thought, marketing, merchandising, NGO operations, retailing, contact development etc aspects and each probably will hold me in good stead if I ever get into a BDM role.I am planning to touch upon most of them and try to do justice.

Awareness
As far as ecological initiatives are concerned there are two awareness related issues. One is in terms of actual awareness that exists and the unclear distinction between “common” wisdom and actual scientific truth. Now the problem is the former is just misleading and the latter too ambiguous. When I say ambiguous, what I mean is that there are lots of facts that can be twisted either way depending on the way you look at it [as is probably the case with anything..ohh! my elusive quest for truth ) . For me to get into a debate about the truthfulness of these would be futile, because I neither have the required expertise nor the time. But there are some facts that are startling for me actually get off my ass and start working. For example, the issue of sea encroachment is not some futuristic story; it is happening currently and has been happening in a tangible manner in the last 20 years. Orissa has lost WHOLE VILLAGES to it. Now the question of the cause being global warming is still debated, but I am convinced that it’s time for us to start working, because even if we take the position that it’s not affecting today, there is enough proof, when viewed from the most cynical viewpoint, to state that it will happen tomorrow. But yes, these interactions with different people has lead me break away from my cocooned mindset of this being a immediate non-issue.

Thought
One of the biggest problems that we as MBA’s studying in India face today is that of similarly in background and thought of our colleagues, Even at FMS (Or more so because its FMS) the diversity, though better than most other top notch b-schools because of our unique test system (50%tile cut-offs in different sections), is deplorable. 80% of my classmates are engineers and in the similar age group. Though this has its advantages, the exposure to new ideas or rather new ways of thinking gets limited. For the new age mantra of divergent thinking, this is one of the biggest hindrances, as once your way of thinking matches with your team-mates, they synergy is trampling constructive thought process and even conflict. In this respect, this stall stint has brought me contact with so many people that I cant even began to comprehend the effect of it all on my thinking. From fanatical environmentalists to NGO founders to Sports reporters to Academicians to NIFT graduates, the level of exposure has been phenomenal. And they way they approach problems is truly something that has started to help refine my own approach. This is probably more in line with the “learning from unusual sources” concept that I was exposed back in MindTree.

Accountability

The biggest turn off for a disciple of the capitalist world in these things is the lack of accountability. Initially it made me crazy to think of the whole lack of accountability and proper checks that any rational and practical (read slightly misanthropic) mind would dictate. But then I never factored in the way some of the people involved think and it’s a bit unrealistically honourable and noble. I am not trying to paint a pretty picture, because it’s obvious to anyone who sees it that there are different drivers for people and 90% of them are probably driven by not very noble (but not dishonourable) factors, but the rest 10% turn the rational model on its head. But there is still a lot of scope for management research to be done. Or if it had been already done , for it to percolate down.

Contact/Opportunity Development
I really didn’t realize how much difference it makes when you put up a stall in a fair (even a permanent one like dilli haat). Having been a placement team member in one of the worst times in terms of placement , the phrase “cold calling” is not something which will create good image/word associations in my mind. [actually now that I think of it feels like fun..but definitely not during that time]…well I digress…the crux is that the amount of contacts and opportunities that you can create in a fair is like a gazillion times more!

I guess I have covered some of the pressing things in my mind. Awesome learning experience that it was, it was also fun interacting with people who are totally different from the kind of people that I have been around for a while now. As far as more volunteer work for the next few months are concerned I will be on a hiatus till placements get over!

I had volunteered for IYCN a while back and one fine day I got a mail asking for volunteers for a “Delhi Haat” stall that they have put up. The details are below.

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Eco-products stall at Dilli Haat INA

Start: 08/01/2009 11:00

End: 08/15/2009 21:00

Timezone: Asia/Calcutta

The Indian Youth Climate Network (IYCN) Delhi, in partnership with Conserve and Manzil, and supported by Haathi Chaap, Darpana, Freeplay, and several others, are setting up an eco-product stall to promote alternatives to plastic bags (made of paper, waste cloth, organic cotton, jute bags, and waste vinyl) and to distribute other unique eco-products (solar lanterns, hand-crank torches, elephant dung paper, and lots of waste-based products).

When : Saturday, August 1, 2009- Friday, August 14, 2009
Where: Dilli Haat, Sri Aurobindo Marg, Opp. INA Market,
New Delhi, India 110023.

Timing and duration: 11am-9pm

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So now I can be found at this place most days from 4^th till 14^th between 7 and 9 pm. Please do come along as there are lots of awesome stuff on display!! pics soon

Very exciting stuff and lots of new things to learn. Will share  my learning’s soon