a mARTIAN dIARY

(I wrote this when i was having a fight with one of my special friends niviya.
I was angry at her for something that she said about me…

These words that fall
one by one
divides this paper
or is it just me?

but yet how they carry
the words i wish
my face would say

one day i know
dust would take my place
yet what i feel now would remain
as something that exists…but does not

these feeling though everlasting
are useless , powerless
for they cannot make me not feel
for
their destiny is their death

should i pity them?
for their eternal pain
what greater punishment for an immortal
than a destiny of death

But isn’t it the same as mine?

the wound is fresh
and the knife remains
for blows from back
no armour can prevent
and seldom heal

but is it that big a deal?
for is it right to expect
mercy from the heartless
loyalty from a snake

but does she understand
that with every stroke that she takes
further she gets from the island
the harder it to reach the fire by night
or is it a new shore she search’s?

But i wish i could do my part
stop her from going far
but alas by pride
muffles it up
and churns out this worthless poem

(The line about the shore was originally "new one", Niv’s suggested it to be shore :P)

(I felt like writing this when I was really down…I don’t remember why…but i remember that I felt this when i was staring at the sky at night from my terrace and hence the name)

 
No truer words were said. Ironically this was from a killer-for-hire in the movie “The Mexican”.

In the building up to the scene, our lady Julia Roberts is wondering when she should stop putting up with her boyfriend’s crazy antics and decide “enough is enough”. She is being held hostage by the killer, the lead actor from sopranos, don’t quite remember his name. He’s gay and had recently lost the love of his life. He asks Julia when she will know enough is enough.

She starts babbling about how unreliable and aimless Brad Pitt is and that she is moving somewhere is life. She has goals. And the beautiful reply follows (what I remember) -

“That’s not the right answer, the question has a right answer, but certainly that’s not the right answer, in your (Julia’s) case the answer is…well…never. My business is a lonely one and there is nothing lonelier that death, everybody’s scared of it. But when I am sending off people, I can see that one who have truly loved and been truly loved are not lonely. Yes they are scared but lesser than the others. There is a certain calmness to them and contentment when they die.”

Who ever thought of that script is certainly no rocket scientist, but to put it so beautifully in words, hats off to you my sir/lady

Death is an unstoppable eventuality, to be scared of death is not a bad thing, else not to be scared may just means you have nothing to live for, which I hope I will never face. Then again there is a fearlessness of other kind

To love and be loved, no holds barred, no petty ranks, status, no “havetoloveyou” clauses etc is a wonderful thing, and it invades into your fear of dying, slowly killing away the fear of the unknown, and the afterlife. Yes it gives you something to live for, so in theory making you fear death, but in life it does the opposite because you know you are not alone.

To sum it up…love, the feeling so pure and true that it can in a sense stop the unstoppable, death.

Sky is the limit
but are they to delimit

clouds are my aim
but what do i stand to gain?

for one day i know
i will be far above

with the clouds i will play
for whom now i pray

and that day i touch
without a hunch

and i’ll cry
for they go dry

then they turn to water
as my life grows shorter

and i ask
why did i come this far?

for water was always there
and then i understand

that i am not to stand
in the way of life

as it marches by
for without the clouds

who really are water
why would i come this far

and live with out a hope
for life is a journey

and a destination it is not….

 (Got 2nd prize for this poem in the college in B-tech 3rd year)