A Reply to Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage
This is not a stand alone blog’cle as such….this is more of a reply to a very funny (?) post I found….Being a newbie at blogging I was going through the “Kerala Bloggers” community….and came across Sunil Sam Kurien’s blog wherein he has compared love marriage and arranged marriage….more like an intro on arranged love marriage…..then he goes on to list why he wont go for a love marriage and thumbs up for a arranged marriage….My reply…
Sam….I really loved they way you introduced the arranged love marriage concept….but the reasons you gave seemed very flawed to me….. Let me explain by quoting you in italics….
Why I won’t have a love marriage
1. I simply can’t ‘maintain’ a girlfriend over a long period of time.
That I think you have a serious issue with commitment….its natural but to say that you prefer a arranged marriage for this is pretty confusing to me… what makes you sure that you will be able to “maintain” a wife? Or are you saying that you want to tie your hands down and force yourself to be left with no other choice? Can you please explain how that is better than finding someone you really love or in your words “maintain”?
2. I don’t like wasting my money on an endeavor whose probabilistic chances of success might be very less
Ok….so you are sure it won’t succeed? Citing that as a reason for not even starting? So basically you are saying you are scared of actually finding someone you love? Or are sure you wont find…
3. I don’t think I can afford a huge phone bill.
If you carry that kind of a money based attitude to a any marriage….arranged or love…..its not going to help….I am not asking you to be unrealistic and spend all your money….if you guys understand each other I am sure you can find a economical way…..come on AIRTEL is not issuing friends SIM for nothing…. Also something “distance makes the heart grow fonder”
4. They say in a love marriage 50% of the love is over before the marriage. Courtesy Sheila Thomas my English teacher at school.
Ok my math’s teacher say…Lies, damn lies and statistics…..so what if that’s true…..how can u base such a serious judgment on heresy? Even if it’s true….50% marriages are being saved….wont you take that risk to be a person you love?
5. Its a decision you make on your own, so if it kinda fails , you have only yourself to blame.
So you are scared of making decisions and just want a scapegoat? Mom Dad….look what you did…you got me the wrong girl…and now my life is ruined?? What good is that? To feel that at least you were not responsible for your failed marriage??? And even that is not true….
6. Theres this popular perception in Malluland that more than half the divorces that take place are all in love marriages.
There was a popular perception some time ago the earth was flat!!!
Why I may have an arranged Marriage ?
1. You just don’t have to worry about falling in love
???? That’s the strangest reason I can see…..
2. You make everyone happy, your parents can hold their head held high.
And when and if your marriage fails? Or what if you guys have a horrid life but seem perfect from outside…..happy with that???
3. The chances of me going to be monetarily compensated are slightly higher.
I know its not all rosy in real life…but marrying for money is one thing that I find really flawed with our society….money is something….but surely not everything in life….
Ok I may being a bit harsh on you….and maybe arranged marriage is not that bad….but certainly not for those reasons you cited…. Yes its not smooth sailing for love marriages….but I think its worth it….. if you have a chance please do read my “No truer words” post…
I meant this in the friendliest possible manner and am looking for your reply….
Regards
Sabari
OK
Well maybe i wasn’t being that serious with that post. There is nothing wrong with love marriages..honestly speakin. Just that when you have love marriages that can’t be converted into arranged marriages theres a lot of problems that come up. I for one don’t think that people who have a lot of diferences culturally can actually work out a good relationship. Its kind of tough. I know its hard to please everyone but in the end, others emotions do count.
So an arranged love marriage is the answer to all our problems isn’t it. Arranged love marriages are called so coz they receive the consent of the parents.
I’ve seen a lot of long distance relationships fail…its not easy to have a relationship.
Having said all this, falling in love is not of ones volition but given a right to choose, i would not, at this point in time choose to fall in love. Maybe the stakes are too high….But the truth remains that a lot of people like me as in.. those in the same position..we do think alike. A lot of people i know, girls included just look forward to casual relationship just for the sake of it….At the end of the day they know they will have a bride/groom waitin for them..
So each to his own..
Comment by sam — June 20, 2006 @ 1:23 am